It all started with a small meme that some folks shared about religious people doing what they are told and spiritual people doing what is right. That meme started a debate that had this cute little opinion piece thrown in as some sort of evidence that spiritual people are somehow “boring” to the author, or even narcissistic.
So what is the difference between religion and spirituality? I know people call the Bible the “Good Book.” Well I call the dictionary “The Better Book.” (Read it. You’ll agree).
So let’s start with the dictionary:
************
noun: religion
the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or gods.”ideas about the relationship between science and religion” synonyms:faith, belief, worship, creed, sect, church, cult, denomination
a particular system of faith and worship.plural noun: religions”the world’s great religions”
a pursuit or interest to which someone ascribes supreme importance.”consumerism is the new religion”
*************
So let’s not even play with the idea that religion does not have a Godhead. It does. If it doesn’t than you are not talking about religion.
Back to the dictionary:
*************
Spiritual
1 : of, relating to, consisting of, or affecting the spirit : incorporeal spiritual needs
2 a : of or relating to sacred matters b : ecclesiastical rather than lay or temporal
3 : concerned with religious values
4 : related or joined in spirit
5 a : of or relating to supernatural beings or phenomena b : of, relating to, or involving spirit.
**********
So now we can see there is a definite difference: Religion requires a figurehead. Spirituality does not. But that’s not the only difference between those with Godheads and those without. Here’s a few more points that most people overlook:
- Hierarchy: If you have a Godhead, and you need to retain the services of a Clergy in order to worship, and you must curry His/Her favor in order to thrive, then it has an authority over you. This is a hierarchy. This is totally unnecessary for humans to live in peace. Often times it creates the conditions for war.
- Inability to make decisions without consultations: If we are used to being told how to behave and what to do all the time, when it comes time to make decisions for ourselves, we tend to panic and “pray for help” rather than seek solutions with a steady mind. Relying on a deity is often handicapping.
- Thought policing: If God is all powerful, can’t he hear your thoughts? Are you bashing yourself for having ordinary human thought experiences like wanting your neighbors asshole pet to die? When you consistently argue with yourself in your head about how you ‘should or should not’ feel, it leads to decision paralysis in other parts of your life. Feelings happen in your body because of chemistry, and without your conscious mind. There is no ‘should’ to them.
- Proselytizing: Most religions result in a worry about the people you love also making it to heaven. So once you become a believer and you are saved, you really really want your brothers and sisters and parents and offspring to be saved too. Because Heaven wouldn’t be Heaven without them. Right? So you make every attempt to convert them to your way of thinking.
- Fearmongering: Living in constant fear that you are doing something “wrong” makes a permanent change in a brainstem organ called the amygdala. Living in fear creates an amygdala that is primed to fill you full of stress hormones at the mere mention of a stressful situation, even if it is not currently happening. In mental health circles we call this “anxiety disorder.” Why would anyone want to live their life with that much stress?
- Judgement: If you have to curry favor with a Godhead, you are certainly in position to be judged. Everyday. At least by the Godhead, if nothing else. But usually by your fellow church goers, too. This leads to a whole set of other problems.
- Self-bashing: This comes from feeling judged. In most religions, not only are you judged, but you are probably found lacking according to their rubric. This creates thought loops in our heads that tell us we’re “not good enough” that then lead us to feel depressed, because there is nobody to tell us when we finally get to “good enough.”
o Lack of Trust: If we fear that another human being is judging us, we will not trust them. Lack of trust means everyone is suspicious, nobody can know the true you. I can’t imagine a human population living in peace without an ability to trust.
Now, if your goal is to have human beings at each other’s throats for the rest of our existence as a species (which will be rather short), then this is an awesome recipe for that. Here’s why:
- It pits everyone against each other to win favor.
- It forces us to judge each other.
- This creates an environment that disrupts trust.
- Disrupting trust pushes people away.
- We do this to win a home in a place we’ve never seen.
- This is also a place where our friends and family can’t get into without our help.
- So we are never on solid ground, never sure of ourselves, never prepared to take on challenges.
And these are ignoring all that “invisible magickal person in the sky” mythology that they string out as if for children.
Seriously, we need a new general philosophy. One that knocks out the hierarchy and allows us to remember what it takes to live in peace with other humans. One which believes that people on the other side of the world 100 years from now are just as important, valid, and valuable as we are here and now, and they deserve a planet they can live on. We need to incorporate a new philosophy of helpfulness, kindness, thinking of other people in a way that mitigates the damage we are doing to one another and to the environment we share.
The magickal Godhead in the sky is not going to help us solve this problem. We have to pull up our grownup pants and get the fantasies out of our heads. We have to be real with the damage we are doing to the world and the chances that we will exist as a species in 100 years. It’s hard, yes. Hell, I have problems thinking 10 years ahead myself.
But hard doesn’t get us off the hook. And turning to religion doesn’t get us off the hook. Hell, even spirituality isn’t the answer we are looking for, but it’s a good start. Science and social connectivity have a chance of saving our asses, but to be honest, what we really need here is a big fat dose of internationally inclusive, unconditional positive regard and respect for all humans, plants, and animals we live among.
Can we please just get started on that?